According to a survey conducted amongst 103 first-year students studying in tertiary institutions, they have ranked awkwardness as the top challenge when it comes to making friends.

 

Lee Wen Jun, 17, a year-one first-year business student at Temasek Polytechnic relates to this as he recalled his first encounter with his new classmates during the video call being “a bit awkward” when they “ran out of things to say” shortly.

 

Mr Carlin Lee, Counsellor at Ngee Ann Polytechnic says that awkwardness “is something very commonly faced throughout any life stages,” from childhood till adulthood even. He added that it usually happens when people are yet to establish a good rapport with the other person.

 

Friendships are undoubtedly one of the main highlights of your school life and many of them last for decades. Yet, establishing one can be intimidating, especially if you are shy and introverted, more so during this unprecedented time where you have to resort to unorthodox ways to make friends online.

 

From the same survey conducted, 65 per cent of respondents found it more difficult to make friends during home-based learning. If you are one of them, here are some of the tips that you can follow, and hopefully, you can form a few valuable friendships!

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1. Have an open-mind

 

Having an open mindset is crucial as it opens up a lot more opportunities for you. Mr Lee says, “If you are willing to put out your hands, someone out there would certainly put out theirs as well.”

 

“When people ask you to try, you just try,” added Mr Lee. 

 

When his classmates invited him to play the game, Call of Duty, Wen Jun joined them because there was no reason not to. He says that gaming brought them “a lot closer”.

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2. Turn on your cameras during video calls

 

This may sound redundant but it allows you to observe each other’s body language which plays a huge part in communication. You might feel self-conscious and awkward initially because no one is doing it, but be brave and take the lead to do so.

 

Mr Lee says that “as humans” we like to see other “people’s faces” so that we know how they have responded to what we have said. Sammi Wong, 19, a first-year Nanyang Technological University student agrees with this tip as she favours real-life interaction over online interactions and switching on the camera mimics the real-life situation for her. 

 

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3. Try to engage with your classmate more often

 

Sammi says that she missed out on a lot of opportunities to communicate with her peers due to not staying in residential halls.

 

On campus, you usually have the advantage of having more opportunities to interact with your new classmates in an organic way. Being online, on the other hand, allows you to hide in your shell and avoid interaction with your classmates.

 

When doing group work with classmates, Mr Lee advises students to engage more to better understand one another since everyone has come together for a specific purpose.

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4. Have a little more trust in people

 

Admittedly, it might be hard for you to trust someone whom you have only met online since you can only judge their personality based on how they portray themselves online, which can be vastly different from who they actually are in real life.

 

It may be necessary to take that leap of faith. 

 

“Just give people the trust, like non-judgmental trust in this communication. You tend to open up more and the others will open up more as well,” Mr Lee says.

 

At the end of the day, be comfortable with yourself. 

 

Wen Jun says, “Just be yourself, honestly. As much as you are desperately trying to make friends and trying to fit in, take things slowly [and] they will naturally fall in place.”